Tuesday, December 12, 2006

French Disease

It has long been suspected that no sane person would actually choose to be French. Now strong evidence has surfaced in Bath, England that being French is actually a disease.

A Bath woman convinced herself she was French after she developed a rare disorder. Louise Clarke, 30, a recruitment consultant, babbled away in French for weeks, according to the Sun. She demanded croissants, rang her pals to tell them she was living in Paris and even invited them over.

Louise said: "It might sound funny to others, but suddenly thinking you are French is terrifying."

She had been in France four years before becoming one of only four people in Britain, and 200 in the world, to be diagnosed with Susac's syndrome*. The brain disorder, which can be brought on by stress, is thought to affect blood vessels leading to the brain, ears and eyes and can scramble memories.

Personally, I can't understand how anyone could find this malady funny or even mildly amusing. One day you are English, or American, or Japanese, or even Andorran and the next you're French! My god - does Mother Nature or al'Qaida have no compassion at all? I'm going to have nightmares tonight, I just know it.

The life of Indigo Red is full of adventure. Tune in next time for the Further Adventures of Indigo Red.

** Susac's Syndrome is named after Dr John Susac, who first spotted the problem in 1975. Sufferers often experience a personality change and develop bizarre and paranoid behavior. Their speech can be affected, and many experience unrelenting and intense headaches and migraines, some form of hearing loss, and impaired vision. The problem usually corrects itself, but this can take up to five years.


Don said...

I have heard of this horrible malady before! Leading scientific investigators theorize that it is caused my eating the legs of amphibians.

mudkitty said...

Making fun of the mentally ill, and the French? Is that what passes for wit amongst the rightwing?

Indigo Red said...

First, the Fench are retarded. Second, yes, I am making fun of the mentally ill because I am a cripple, thus I can, but you can't.

Third, liberal fools have no sense or (not sic) humor.

mudkitty and a friend walked into a building. You'd think one of then would've seen it.

mudkitty said...

Hardy Har Har.

We wouldn't even have a nation if it weren't for the French.


Being a "cripple" doesn't automaticly make one mentally ill, so the fact that you can make fun of them (and I "can't" dispite the first amendment) isn't logical. After all, how many times have I been called an idiot, or some variation of mentally ill, right here on this site? Am I an idiot? If so, than by your definition, I can make fun of the mentally ill.

Anyway, it's a matter of taste, not a matter of rights.

Indigo Red said...

First, we would still have been a nation without the French. It simply would have taken longer. The French only joined the war when it became obvious the English no longer wanted to win. They shifted their imperial focus to India.

Second, reread (or read for the first time) the post. I never once made fun of the mentally ill. Neither did I make fun of Louise Clarke. I made fun of the French. I even go so far as to say,"... can't understand how anyone could find this malady funny or even mildly amusing."

Third, add one. Learn to read, idiot.

Indigo Rose said...

What do you mean we wouldn't have had a nation if it wasn't for France? What happened to Spain and Italy (Amerigo Vespucci)? The Treaty of Tordesillas between Spain and Portugal in 1494 laid claim to the Western Hemisphere, although they thought the land was an extension of Asia.
It wasn't until 1523 that Giovanni de Verazzan, in the service of Francis 1 of France, mapped the east coast of North America, from Florida to Newfoundland, proving definately that land discovered in the south by the Spanish connected to land discovered by England in the North.
The French were busy in Canada. The name,Canada, was given by Jacques Cartier when he appropriated a Huron-Iroquois word - "kanata" meaning village. The French laid claim to much of todays U.S. in the 1600's.
The Louisianna Purchase happened in 1803. The French did give us the Statue of Liberty, but that was in 1886. And if we want to get sticky about the name, it is actually named "Liberty Enlightening the World".

Gayle said...

LOL! You are right, Indigo Red. Liberals have no sense of humor at all. This post is funny whether Mudkitty thinks so or not. "Being French is a disease." LOL! It's the same disease related with being liberal. *sigh*

"'It might sound funny to others, but suddenly thinking you are French is terrifying,' she said." Poor thing; I agree with her completely. It certainly would scare the crap out of me!

Indigo Red said...

LOL, Gayle. And just imagine how General Lafayette felt. He woke up every morning muttering to himself, "My god - I AM French! Damn."

Gayle said...

ROTFALMAO! Poor General Lafayette!

mudkitty said...

Red, surely you know we wouldn't have won the revolution without the French?

And I've been called mentally ill or profoundly stupid by the lovely Gayle here on many occasions.

mudkitty said...

And Red, reread you own post "And yes I am making fun of the mentally ill..."

And you were making fun of the French at the expense of a woman who is mentally ill.

"The English no longer wanted to win..." Boy that's a streatch. That's a pretzel streatch. They were defeated, with the help of the French. Oh yeah, the English wanted to give up the land with the most natural recourses in history, up to that point. Oh that's a good one. Now THAT'S funny.

Gayle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Gayle said...

I'm making a resolution, Mudkitty. Since you have never said anything I even remotely agree with, from now on I will ignore you. Please return the favor.

mudkitty said...

What does my doing you a favor have to do with your latest resolution to ignore me?

mudkitty said...

Aw, what the heck, we are aproaching resolution season!

Mike's America said...

Sacre bleu!

Did this woman also develop a taste for snails?

P.S. Muddingy: admit it: You're FRENCH!

mudkitty said...

I do love garlic.

Indigo Red said...

Well, there goes the vampire theory!

mudkitty said...

Don't be so quick to say...I am half Hungarian, on my mudda's side.

My great grandmother was even in the Bela Lagosi, original, version of Dracula. My great grandmother played the innkeepers wife, the one who gave the cross to the traveler in one of the first several scenes in the movie. We still have the cross in our family. Turns out, it's one of those "Poison" crosses...it had a mechanisim whereby it opened up and had a secrt compartment...but that's another story. I bet it would go for a lot of money on ebay, but it's not for sale.

Great Granny was a popular actress in Budapest, and appeared on postcards, and the whole bit. Once when she was young, she gaving such a rousing performance, that students and ardent fans unhitched her carriage from her horses, and carried her carriage themselves along the Danube River.

The other half is Irish/English/Scottish/America mutt. The Hungarian half is full blood, but the Irish/English/Scottish/American blood is stronger.

So, I'm only part vampire.

Indigo Red said...

NO, NO, NO! Dear lord, let it not be true!

I'm Irish/English/Scots and my grandfather was Hungarian...

...please, PLEEEEZZZZE! I can't be related to - GASP- mudkitty! No-o-o-o-o-o-o! My life is over...damned 6 degrees.

Leap Frog said...


muddy one, you're wacked!

I'm of french heritage but I've been BASF'd!!

get it?
The commericals that run endlessly here...

We don't make the ______ whatever product

We make the ______ whatever product better!

So having been over here for almsot 400 years my genes are "BASF'd" of the old french european brain rot...I find this hilarious Indigo R. LOL
(ancestors too busy trying to catch beaver and keep warm to maintain the arrogant egos normally required for living in Denial, er I mean France... just a guess on my part though. ;~) )

Just compare the current bathing habits. Small thing but important if you're of average height of a woman, like me, and have to walk around men slightly taller who don't bath....

The men there really really need to bath more in the summer, seriously it's disgusting. And soap is cheap and pleantiful, I just don't understand....anyway.

There's always willing therapists to treat your bitterness muddy, all the best to 'ya!


mudkitty said...

Thank you for calling me bitter, telling me I need a therepist, and then insincerely wishing me a Merry Xmas.

I've met some stinky Americans and some stinky French people, some lovely smelling Americans and some lovely smelling French people. I guess you're what they call a self-hating leapfrog.

Merry Xmas to you too.


Red & Rose, Hungarian/Brit. et al? Oh dear. My other great grandmother on the Hungarian side had 11 children... that means we could be...COSINS! Come here. Give me a hug!

As hungarians, you know that the vampires secretly do love garlic.

mudkitty said...

Seriously, tell me your folks don't hail from Pennsylvania?

Indigo Red said...

Michigan. Wa-a-a-a-y too close for comfort.

Indigo Red said...

And how do you know Rose and Red are related, huh, huh? Riddle me that, mudkitty!

Indigo Red said...

Nice hearing from you, leap frog. Now, I've seen pictures of you and I would swear you were not a day over 205, but 400!!

I have two French nieces living in the Britany area somewhere. I've been to France and I think it's just a shame there are so many French people there. I believe sincererly they should all go back to where they came from - Germany!

mudkitty said...

Red, you told me.

But I sometimes wonder if Rose is just an alter-ego.

And I think what you said about the french was mean. There are lots of wonderful french people.

Indigo Red said...

Indigo Rose is my younger sister, introduced to these adventures about a year ago.

It wasn't mean; it's true. There are no wonderful French people, except my two nieces and family.

Indigo Rose said...

Mudkitty, honest I am not Red's alter ego. I definately have my own ego!

And, as for the French, I have only met one personnaly, but have smelled a couple while at the Grand Canyon. Those French women should learn to shave, and shower.

mudkitty said...

You've only met one french person in your whole life? You can't be serious Rose!

Indigo Rose said...

I live in a rural area, mudkitty. I met the mother of my nieces. I'm sure I've been in a room with Frenchmen/women, but I've never MET them.

Indigo Red said...

I was in a whole country full of French people. It was France. The unfriendliest people I've ever met. But, to be fair those unfriendly folks were in Paris.