Sunday, January 15, 2006

John Kerry's last hope for anonymity was The Jehovah's Witness Protection Program. It, too, failed him.



1. After telling the press that President Bush had failed at keeping our international borders secure, Presidential hopeful Sen. John Kerry demonstrated the lax border security between California and Nevada.

2. Sen. John Kerry working on his fourth Purple Heart.

3. “…and…unbelievable! A perfect 10 from the French judge!”

4. “TERESA WAIT! STOP—DON’T GO! DON’T TAKE THE BUS! LEA...LEA…LEAVE THE BU….T-E-RRR-EEEE-SSSS-AAAAA!!..... DAMN! I loved that bus.”

5. “OK, OK, Teresa! I’ll never use Del Monte ketchup ever again! I promise! Now, stop shooting at me…I gotta do something ‘bout that damned 2nd Amendment.”

6. Not since Dick Fosbury, has so much controversy surrounded a jumping event. Olympic hopeful John Kerry shows off his unorthodox jumping style the press has dubbed ‘the Kerry Flip-Flop’.

7. As startled guards looked on, former Presidential candidate and Massachusetts Senator John Kerry made a desperate attempt to escape the Federal Prison at Gainesville today. Officials say Kerry was immediately apprehended. Kerry said, "I escaped before I was caught.”

8. Making a point to the press about the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy, Sen. John Kerry demonstrates how Humpty-Dumpty was thrown from the wall.

9. In going after the thrasher vote, John Kerry rips radical big air.

10. In what appeared to be an unfortunate flashback, Sen. John Kerry, the Presidential candidate of the Democrat Party, leapt over a wall to chase a hapless Vietnamese immigrant farmer through a strawberry field in Fresno, CA today. Asked to explain, Kerry only said, “I have three Purple Hearts.”

11. Mumbling what is thought to have been a ‘Honey do’ list,
Leave the lights on
Drop bombs
Do tours of the east
Contract diseases
Bury bones
Break up homes…,
Sen. John Kerry broke free of the Secret Service agents who were unable to stop the Democratic Presidential candidate from jumping over the restraining wall into the mile deep Grand Canyon.

12. “I am NOT a fence sitter! Am not! Am not! Am not! ”

13. CHEESE IT, GUYS! TERESA’S COMING!

14. On a campaign swing through the western states Democrat Presidential candidate John Kerry issued this challenge: “Mr. Schwarzenegger, tear down this wall!

15. The world's last known Microsoft user, John Kerry, desperately attempts to escape the Apple i-Pod People.

16. "I'll be right back. I think I spotted an heiress!!!!" (Contributed by Don. That's a very Kerry thing to say.)


(Note from management: Back in the heady days of the 2004 Presidential campaign, I would amuse myself at work by captioning press photos of the candidates, printing them, and posting them at my desk. This one was very annoying to my liberal colleagues. It was also my favorite because the photo itself is so stupid and useless, one wonders how it ever got published.)

For the best in captioning, please see Caption This!


The life of Indigo Red is full of adventure. Tune in next time for the Further Adventures of Indigo Red.

5 comments:

dcat said...

Yes I will use Del Monte ketchup forever now!

Ron Lyre said...

You'll like this indigo...put french military victories into google and see what comes up.

Tom C said...

Hmmmm, what is that saying? The easily amused are never bored.:)

Mike H. said...

Tom, when you have such a shallow character to work with (read purple John), there is no deep humor possible. :D

Don said...

I'll be right back. I think I spotted an heiress!!!!