Thursday, May 26, 2005

Laptop Dance

The wounding and/or death of Abu al-Zarqawi is by now common rumor and/or knowledge. Common knowledge is the fact that Zeek's laptop was captured. What has not been known until now is how the laptop was captured.

Through an unnamed government source, Peter Laszlo, the Deputy Assisstant to the State Dept Liaison to the DoD Special Assisstant on Military Liaisoning and Other Secret Government Stuff (pretty high guy in the G-man club) I have learned this incredible tale of whoa.

Anyway, the unnamed source told his cousin, Larry Laszlo, who then told me. I trust Larry ever since we were herding Henry Weinhard's down El Paso way.

During Operation Matador in Ramadi, Iraq, Zeek was caught with his pants down in front of his laptop. No one knows what he was looking at, but it held his attention as he held his...well, he was occupied. Upon hearing the US Marines call out, "Helloooo! Anyone hoooommme?", Zeek quickly pulled up his pants and ran like the wind. But not before he willfully dived in front of cold American steel, thereby capturing and absconding with American property.

The laptop was left behind to fend for itself. "It was the damnedest thing seeing that laptop jump up, give a little laptop dance and then run out of the building," the unnamed source, Peter Laszlo said. The Marines yelled, "Whoa!" , but to no avail. A wild chase ensued.

The laptop was wily, ducking into phone booths to change URLs several times. Quickly surfing the web, the laptop switched sites often and unpredictably. The bizarre pursuit went on for almost an hour with the laptop stopping frequently to taunt the pursuers with bogus addresses.

The Marines finally got a break. The laptop batteries were running low. The laptop ducked into a house and was cornered in the bathroom. The Marines grabbed the laptop just as it was making a desperate last attempt at escape, ala Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, by jumping into the toilet.

Upon capture, the laptop began sending e-mails to leftist reporters around the world: "Help me! Satan's Marines are trying to flush me down the toilet!"

Now in custody at a secret CIA facility at 12135 Rocky Road, Reston, VA. , the laptop is singing at pretty tune. According to Larry's cousin, Zarqawi had a rather large Napster file which included the entire discography of ZZ Top.

There was also a video file, "Rainy Days and Mondays". It showed al-Zarqawi singing along with a recording of Karen Carpenter. Reportedly, he wasn't too bad.

The life of Indigo Red is full of adventure. Tune in next time for the Further Adventures of Indigo Red.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Zeek Shot in Ramadi

Apparently, al-Zarqawi has been seriously wounded this past Sunday. The Jordanian born terror master was shot in Ramadi (ouch) by US Marines in a raid against the terror groups in western Iraq. The wound was serious enough for him to lose consciousness several times.

The Made in the USA bullet struck Zeek between the chest and the shoulder. He is in a safe area being treated by foreign doctors (ICBW, I'm thinking French involvement.)

During lucid moments, al- Zeek is participating is helping to choose a successor in case he does not survive. The short list of nominees includes two Arabs and one Iraqi. The violence will continue with or without al-Zarqawi.

So what's the use? Why continue the war against terror if there are replacements for the bad guy leaders? Well, the replacements will seldom be as proficient, confident, looney, and zealous as the originals. The leaders get worse, more amateurish, but still deadly. We will get better, more professional, AND still deadly.

The life of Indigo Red is full of adventure. Tune in next time for the Further Adventures of Indigo Red.