Well, okay. Probably. But here is something now from 64 years ago. It also has the unquestionable benefit of being as important as I say it is.
In a classified project marked "TOP SECRET", Dr. Olen Hannussen of Denmark was ordered by der Fuehrer, Adolf Hitler, to develop an inflatable sex doll. In charge of the sex doll project was S.S. Commander Heinrich Himmler.
The doll was to attend to the needs of German soldiers according to the project documents. The project was revealed in a Norwegian newspaper and was reported last Monday in the Italian daily, Corriere della Sera. The soldiers were to "inflate the doll when feeling the urge, and it would meet their sexual needs."
German fighting men, it was feared, would otherwise go to brothels and contract sexually communicable diseases. Or worse, have sexual relations with a non-Aryan woman thus polluting the Master Race. A psychiatrist, Dr. Rudolf Chargeheimer, appointed by Himmler to aid in prototype development, wrote, "the purpose and the goal of the dolls is to relieve our soldiers. They have to fight and not mingle with 'foreign women'."
Hitler himself is said to have furnished the doll's design measurements: "She should be a natural size with a pretty woman's appearance with white skin, blonde hair, blue eyes, 1.76 meters (5 feet, 9 inches) tall, with large lips and breasts." Not stated, but presumably her weight was to be 'light'.
"However, no real men will prefer a doll to a real woman," Chargeheimer wrote, "until our technicians meet the following quality standards: The synthetic flesh has to feel the same, like real flesh. The doll's body should be as agile and movable as the real body. The doll's organ should feel absolutely realistic."
Alas, the project never reached the production stage reports Ynet news of Israel. The manufacturing plant for the doll was located in Dresden, which was pounded and burned into rubble by British and American bombing. Hitler never lived to see his perfect woman in action.
The life of Indigo Red is full of adventure. Tune in next time for the Further Adventures of Indigo Red.